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bleedingdry Profile
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Registered: 07-2015
Posts: 5
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Dear Diary *trig*


Hello guys!!!!
Its bin 5 years since ive bin here ive bin trying to get on here but lost everything so i couldnt come on but im so happy i managed to get on so its just the same person only with a different username.

5 years god!!!

Well im now in rehab and have bin for 5 long years
Ive bin in different hospitals but this one is the best one ive bin in so far and im on my way out so i guess i thought i need some support in this.

My selfham became so bad i was putting my life at risk and with the voices and all i just couldnt be managed in the community. I did have a flat but i was constantly drunk and didnt know what i was doing half the time so that failed.
I went to a crisis unit and they secured a place for me in supported housing but i soon turned back to drink and that fail and i was soon sectioned and have been since 2010 emoticon

My self harm still can be serious and i am trying to cut down and have managed to go 12 weeks without doing anything emoticon But ive fell into a bad habit of head banging and have split my head open a few times and thats what the team are worried about.

Eating wise im still purging but recently ive stopped eating and have lost quite alot of weight. The team are concerend because its coming off too fast but im not seeing that as you do with EDs emoticon i get so angry at them because i cant see the difference from 2 year ago when i gained all the weight and was obese.

But im trying thats all i can do.

Anyway ill keep updating on my progress i just hope people will welcome me back and i hope that you are all ok

<3
kylie
-x-

Last edited by bleedingdry, 26/7/15, 20:14
26/7/15, 20:13 Link to this post   
 
bleedingdry Profile
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Registered: 07-2015
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Re: Dear Diary *trig*


Hi guys

Things are getting on top of me again emoticon
Im trying but im getting nowhere and i dont know what to do. Ive bin stuck in hospital for 5 years and now im close to getting out and im scared to death!

My eating hasnt changed im either not eating or bping and i hate it so much because all i want to do is eat and be happy with it but i cant and im stuck emoticon
2/8/15, 14:30 Link to this post   
 
bleedingdry Profile
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Registered: 07-2015
Posts: 5
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Re: Dear Diary *trig*


Hi guys emoticon

Im doing good lately although i did selfharm the other day through stress. My mood is so up and down right now but im managing to get through it as best i can.

I have a recovery unit lined up for me to move to in 4 weeks time and im really dreading it and am scared but im looking forward to leaving hospital and starting a fresh and moving on from this emoticon

My eating is still a huge part of me i either starve or purge the binging has stopped but im not doing to good with the whole eating thing right now. Ive lost a huge amount of weight in a year and the team her are concerend of course i smile and say im ok but they know my tricks and have me on speacial milk shakes but ive managed to avoid them and try eating but i purge what i eat so ....

Anyway ill keep popping in and updating.

 emoticon
30/8/15, 16:57 Link to this post   
 
bleedingdry Profile
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Registered: 07-2015
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Re: Dear Diary *trig*


hey guys emoticon

Things aint good right now. I'm out of hospital now and am now in a supported living where ive got my own flat. My mood is so up and down.

Someone from my home team have bin out twice today and are really worried about me because I cut my stomach open and had to have internal stitches and staples on the outside.

My OTA has just taking me to the clinic to get some prn so ive just took some lorazepam.

My eating isn't that great either. Last night I purged after eating scrambled egg. Today ive had half a yogurt.

Anyway ive got the internet in my flat and have a laptop so ill update everyday.

hope everyone else is ok emoticon
13/4/16, 16:15 Link to this post   
 
sthngwrthfightingfor Profile
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Registered: 07-2009
Location: UK
Posts: 118
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Re: Dear Diary *trig*


I emanated to get on my old account

---
***
These hands are too shakey to hold
***



13/4/16, 17:07 Link to this post   
 


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